"Following a traumatic birth with my daughter, I experienced flashbacks and huge negativity surrounding both the labour and her birth. This also had impacted the early stage of her life and my recovery post partum. For example, during my labour I had watched several Disney films and was no longer able to watch these as they took me to an extremely harrowing place psychologically. I was unable to find any joy in the birth experience of my daughter, which was very sad for me.When I was pregnant for the second time, I began to realise that a huge fear was building for me ahead of the labour and birth and I was dreading a repeat of what I had experienced and felt. At the end of 2021 I decided I wanted to see if there was anything I could do to change this, and came across Sam via the birth trauma association website. I didn't know what therapy path I wanted to pursue, but was reassured by the fact that Sam was a qualified midwife and counsellor so would understand medically the whole experience too. After speaking with Sam, she suggested trying the Rewind technique to focus on the specific birth experience and reframe how I thought about it ahead of my next birth. In our first session we were also able to unpick my previous birth experience using Sam's midwifery knowledge, to help me understand medically why the labour had progressed in a certain way and help me to understand that it wasn't my fault. Self blame was actually a huge part of what I was feeling, but I perhaps hadn't realised. This also gave me the confidence to create the birth plan that I wanted for the upcoming labour.We had the major Rewind session and Sam asked me what I wanted at the end of it, which was positive reflections on the birth of my daughter, the ability to watch Disney films again and the chance to feel positively ahead of my next birth.This was EXACTLY what I achieved. I can now think about my daughter being born and not be filled by horror, I can hear a song from Beauty and the best and not be transported to a place of huge distress and I gave birth to my son in the calm and positive way that I planned. I would recommend working with Sam to anyone experiencing traumatic thoughts about their birth experience, as it really has changed how I feel about it. It has alleviated the guilt I felt both about the horror I felt over my daughter's birth, and the "failure" I felt about giving birth. I now feel joy and celebration about the births of my two children and feel so grateful to Sam for that".
(shared with permission of client)
The only way I’ve been able to describe how I felt before was that it felt like I was at the bottom of the ocean with sandbags on me, and I honestly thought I wouldn’t feel myself or like I would be able to catch a breath again.. and it hurt so much to my core.
After the rewind sessions I really cant believe how well it has worked! I’m finally able to talk about what happened to me to people without the same crippling emotion it would give me before, I don’t feel like I’m constantly reliving that trauma with every reminder and I’m not avoiding things like I would have done before because I felt a constant fear and pain.
Basically, there are no longer those sandbags weighing me down and I feel like for the first time in a long time I’m in a position to regain some joy, I’m finding I’m able to start living in the moment and I’m finally present again and able to enjoy my life with my girls.
So Thank You 💜
"I can't remember how or when I found Sam, but I'm so glad I did.
My labour had left me angry and traumatised. A deep lack of compassion by a midwife and communication by other medical professionals ended in an emergency delivery via forceps with episiotomy - my absolute worst nightmare.
What should have been the best day of my life ended up being one of the worst. I was left in complete shock at the events that unfolded which, in time, gave way to intense anger and frustration that my birth experience was allowed to be like that and end in the way it did.
The result of my experience left me feeling quite detached from being a mom. Outwardly I was doing all the right things for my daughter, but inside I felt quite empty and unable to feel the joy and love I wanted to.
Rewind was the solution I didn't know I needed (or even existed) until I saw myself in someone else's story and I contacted Sam immediately.
I knew as soon as we spoke she was the person I needed to help me process my trauma.
For the first time I felt not just heard - but understood which was such a relief. Her long experience in the birth world meant she knew why I felt the way I did and helped validate all my overwhelming feelings.
Sam is such a beautiful and warm human and her passion to help shone so brightly in my darkest time. She showed me there is, indeed, a light at the end of the tunnel.
I now feel hopeful for the future with my daughter and that I can be the mom she deserves"
Shared with permission of the client